Spin was awesome today! I missed all last week so I was a little bit nervous but all that running has really paid off. I felt so strong this morning and really had a great workout! Intense, but great.
Also planning to swim this afternoon since I didn't yesterday. Yes, I've been a little flexible with my schedule this week but I'm starting to cave under the pressure of my impending test this Saturday in which it will be necessary for me to recall all of our history. As in, everything. That's BC and AD folks. Monday while I was swimming I was not humming a tune but rather constructing the shifting dynasties of Eastern and Western Europe in my head. Consequently, not my greatest dip.
But no matter. I'm just ready to get through it. Then I can focus on my bike, my fundraising and my life. Though I will say, the stress of the test has certainly morphed me into looking like a history teacher: frazzled, jittery and disheveled.
Claire
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Anniversaries
This morning has been a good one in the world of training. Got up, ran 60 minutes and am home studying for a curriculum exam I'm taking this Saturday. I say studying loosely as I've be procrastinating since I got home 3 hours ago but was thankful that my idling didn't prove to be in vain.
While checking my email there was a team note from Rebecca Holmes, the mother of Gage, the little boy my tri team is racing for this September. She was sending out words of encouragement to us all since training is becoming quite challenging and, as she so accurately put it, the "new" has worn off. She also shared with us that today is the three year anniversary of Gage's diagnosis of cancer. The journey her family has been through is truly awe-inspiring. I honestly don't know her well or her family, but every time I hear their story I become more and more proud to be participating in this event which has so profoundly helped their family and countless others.
Selfishly, it also got me thinking about other anniversaries and how important it is to remember them and celebrate them, no matter what they represent. Yesterday actually happens to have been the 12th anniversary of a car accident I was involved in when I was 17 which resulted in a very traumatic injury to my left hand. My left index finger looks like ET's (a Halloween costume I still fully intend to execute) and I'm still to this day often asked about my "burn" as the skin looks like it was at some point lit on fire.
It used to be a scene I though alot about. Nightmares, anxiety, a deep need to always drive, etc. but as time marches on the scar does fade, both externally and internally. I am so thankful to be able to use my hand almost as if it were normal. To type and tie shoes and run and swim, I am blessed. And it was a wonderful reminder this morning, to hear a celebration of thanks from a person who is still coping with trauma within her own family because of her child's health. How easy it is to be grateful when you are through a hurdle like that, but to share words of celebration while it's still going on is truly inspiring. And one of the greatest motivators I can think of.
Claire
While checking my email there was a team note from Rebecca Holmes, the mother of Gage, the little boy my tri team is racing for this September. She was sending out words of encouragement to us all since training is becoming quite challenging and, as she so accurately put it, the "new" has worn off. She also shared with us that today is the three year anniversary of Gage's diagnosis of cancer. The journey her family has been through is truly awe-inspiring. I honestly don't know her well or her family, but every time I hear their story I become more and more proud to be participating in this event which has so profoundly helped their family and countless others.
Selfishly, it also got me thinking about other anniversaries and how important it is to remember them and celebrate them, no matter what they represent. Yesterday actually happens to have been the 12th anniversary of a car accident I was involved in when I was 17 which resulted in a very traumatic injury to my left hand. My left index finger looks like ET's (a Halloween costume I still fully intend to execute) and I'm still to this day often asked about my "burn" as the skin looks like it was at some point lit on fire.
It used to be a scene I though alot about. Nightmares, anxiety, a deep need to always drive, etc. but as time marches on the scar does fade, both externally and internally. I am so thankful to be able to use my hand almost as if it were normal. To type and tie shoes and run and swim, I am blessed. And it was a wonderful reminder this morning, to hear a celebration of thanks from a person who is still coping with trauma within her own family because of her child's health. How easy it is to be grateful when you are through a hurdle like that, but to share words of celebration while it's still going on is truly inspiring. And one of the greatest motivators I can think of.
Claire
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Silence Isn't Golden
Tragedy struck whilst on the treadmill this morning. My ipod quit working - just needs to be charged but still. It just quit, right in the middle of the Flaming Lips favorite 'She Don't Use Jelly.' This was the mental equivalent of hitting the emergency stop button on the treadmill.
And it got me thinking about running in an actual race and not being able to use my ipod. I've really become reliant on that little guy. I NEED that music to push me through. And this of course got me thinking about wants and needs and how different they really are. In actuality I want my ipod when I run, but I don't need it.
It's like a blankey or any other "magical" item you might have had as a kid. You simply can't pass a test without your lucky pen or you couldn't possibly play a soccer game with your your specific hair tie. Well, my little ipod shuffle has become my blankey or binky or whatever that I can't possible run without.
And that's just ridiculous. Passing a test has nothing to do with the pen. And running a race has nothing to do with music. It's all about preparation. And that's why it's intimidating. We want to believe in a magical device or trick that makes things easier in life be it training for a triathlon or preparing for a test or just maintaining our relationships.
My favorite teacher in high school, Dr. Buchanan, gave us all Albert Einstein stickers right before we took our AP European History Exam. And I rubbed that little sticker for luck as if it were a holy relic. In fact, as I write this, I'm looking at that very sticker of Mr. Einstein, as I've saved it all these years. And I always keep it on my computer. For luck.
While I have no intention of giving up my sticker or my ipod for that matter, I do realize I don't need them- I want them. But wants be damned, I just need to prepare! Three miles today in 30 minutes is a good start.
Claire
And it got me thinking about running in an actual race and not being able to use my ipod. I've really become reliant on that little guy. I NEED that music to push me through. And this of course got me thinking about wants and needs and how different they really are. In actuality I want my ipod when I run, but I don't need it.
It's like a blankey or any other "magical" item you might have had as a kid. You simply can't pass a test without your lucky pen or you couldn't possibly play a soccer game with your your specific hair tie. Well, my little ipod shuffle has become my blankey or binky or whatever that I can't possible run without.
And that's just ridiculous. Passing a test has nothing to do with the pen. And running a race has nothing to do with music. It's all about preparation. And that's why it's intimidating. We want to believe in a magical device or trick that makes things easier in life be it training for a triathlon or preparing for a test or just maintaining our relationships.
My favorite teacher in high school, Dr. Buchanan, gave us all Albert Einstein stickers right before we took our AP European History Exam. And I rubbed that little sticker for luck as if it were a holy relic. In fact, as I write this, I'm looking at that very sticker of Mr. Einstein, as I've saved it all these years. And I always keep it on my computer. For luck.
While I have no intention of giving up my sticker or my ipod for that matter, I do realize I don't need them- I want them. But wants be damned, I just need to prepare! Three miles today in 30 minutes is a good start.
Claire
Friday, June 18, 2010
Attitude.
As the anxiety-ridden, over-reactor that I am, people are always sharing little ditties with me to help calm me down. A fan favorite is: "Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it." With the exception of my friend Sarah, who wrote this down for me in high school on our drill team stationary and I really appreciated it at the time, I've told everyone else who has ever said this to me to go F-off (not too articulate, but highly effective in shutting down and overly-effusive helper).
However. Today, I got a taste of my own grumpy medicine when I went to run. I've been babysitting this week and it's messed with my spin schedule so I've been compensating for that deficit with running. This morning I woke up refreshed after a good nights worth of Lunesta-induced slumber but the second my feet hit the floor: I. was. pissy. I still am. I'm in a bad mood and I know why, but that's for a whole other blog.
The cruel irony is, the anger and frustration I was feeling upon stumbling out of bed only hurt me. Instead of saying, "ok, let's just go work this out on the treadmill," I grudgingly loaded myself up into my car and schlepped into the gym. I had a horrid run. And that's all in my head, because, 1. today is actually 'off' day, 2. I finally hit 3 miles in 30 minutes and 3. I'm not that tired.
But I was beaten. My attitude sucked. I really crawled through today's workout. Focusing on all the negative, and truly feeling frightened of the endeavor I've embarked upon. I hope today will improve. My daily prayer is to be in the now and to focus on the positives- aka, drink my own medicine.
When someone asked me why in the heck I was attempting a triathlon, my immediate and gut reaction was "I needed to kick my own ass." Well. Here's to another kick.
Claire
However. Today, I got a taste of my own grumpy medicine when I went to run. I've been babysitting this week and it's messed with my spin schedule so I've been compensating for that deficit with running. This morning I woke up refreshed after a good nights worth of Lunesta-induced slumber but the second my feet hit the floor: I. was. pissy. I still am. I'm in a bad mood and I know why, but that's for a whole other blog.
The cruel irony is, the anger and frustration I was feeling upon stumbling out of bed only hurt me. Instead of saying, "ok, let's just go work this out on the treadmill," I grudgingly loaded myself up into my car and schlepped into the gym. I had a horrid run. And that's all in my head, because, 1. today is actually 'off' day, 2. I finally hit 3 miles in 30 minutes and 3. I'm not that tired.
But I was beaten. My attitude sucked. I really crawled through today's workout. Focusing on all the negative, and truly feeling frightened of the endeavor I've embarked upon. I hope today will improve. My daily prayer is to be in the now and to focus on the positives- aka, drink my own medicine.
When someone asked me why in the heck I was attempting a triathlon, my immediate and gut reaction was "I needed to kick my own ass." Well. Here's to another kick.
Claire
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Just Like a Fish
I have really turned a corner with swimming. I'll be honest, when this process started, I though I'd take to the pool easily- I love the water!
I was wrong. Swim proved to be the most challenging aspect of training from day one. But here at week 7, I'm loving it. I finally got my rhythm down and can actually breathe (big plus). I used to huff and puff after 50 meters but now, 200 is no biggie. I realize that's a drop in the bucket since I have to swim across a river to the tick of 1800 meters, but I feel more confident in reaching the shore now.
It's also very interesting to see what pops to mind while you're swimming. For example, the other day in the pool I started stroking to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." And at the same time was pondering swim caps in general. My Grandmother always wore one. She said it kept her hair nice (she had her hair set every Monday) and I believed her. But now I think she was just crazy because nothing about a swim cap keeps your hair nice. In fact, if I'd had my hair set, a pool would be the last place I'd venture.
Anyway, these little conversations with myself pull me through to the end of the lane. And hopefully, across a river.
Claire
I was wrong. Swim proved to be the most challenging aspect of training from day one. But here at week 7, I'm loving it. I finally got my rhythm down and can actually breathe (big plus). I used to huff and puff after 50 meters but now, 200 is no biggie. I realize that's a drop in the bucket since I have to swim across a river to the tick of 1800 meters, but I feel more confident in reaching the shore now.
It's also very interesting to see what pops to mind while you're swimming. For example, the other day in the pool I started stroking to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." And at the same time was pondering swim caps in general. My Grandmother always wore one. She said it kept her hair nice (she had her hair set every Monday) and I believed her. But now I think she was just crazy because nothing about a swim cap keeps your hair nice. In fact, if I'd had my hair set, a pool would be the last place I'd venture.
Anyway, these little conversations with myself pull me through to the end of the lane. And hopefully, across a river.
Claire
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thank You, Billy Idol
I just ran for 60 minutes. It was difficult. But, it was alot more fun thanks to my friend Billy Idol.
Ever since Cindy Mancini ruined her mother's fringed suede outfit with a bottle of cheap red wine to the tune of 'Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol has held my heart.
I've gotten into the habit of wrapping up my runs with "Dancing With Myself" and it never fails me. No matter how tired I am, that intro gets me right back into my rhythm. As I stare out the YMCA window, focused on one tree for concentration, I imagine I'm with all my friends, out dancing, and our early 80s favorite comes on. We do the brat pack kick and sing all together. It's cheesy, but that little daydream really pulls you through mile six when you're about to vomit.
Claire
Ever since Cindy Mancini ruined her mother's fringed suede outfit with a bottle of cheap red wine to the tune of 'Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol has held my heart.
I've gotten into the habit of wrapping up my runs with "Dancing With Myself" and it never fails me. No matter how tired I am, that intro gets me right back into my rhythm. As I stare out the YMCA window, focused on one tree for concentration, I imagine I'm with all my friends, out dancing, and our early 80s favorite comes on. We do the brat pack kick and sing all together. It's cheesy, but that little daydream really pulls you through mile six when you're about to vomit.
Claire
Friday, June 11, 2010
Almost There
A bike is going to be a reality in my life this week! So far, our garage sale has been quite a success and I'm 75% of the way toward my bike! Also, I have truly perfected my haggling skills and am considering a career in consignment management or a stint on "American Pickers."
That said, I'm EXHAUSTED. Planning to rise with the sun in the morrow to get in a quick run but I'm not making any promises. Perhaps I can do laps at the pool party I'm attending tomorrow night- I'm sure that would entertain the guests.
Claire
That said, I'm EXHAUSTED. Planning to rise with the sun in the morrow to get in a quick run but I'm not making any promises. Perhaps I can do laps at the pool party I'm attending tomorrow night- I'm sure that would entertain the guests.
Claire
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