Good to Be Back

Spin was awesome today! I missed all last week so I was a little bit nervous but all that running has really paid off. I felt so strong this morning and really had a great workout! Intense, but great.

Also planning to swim this afternoon since I didn't yesterday. Yes, I've been a little flexible with my schedule this week but I'm starting to cave under the pressure of my impending test this Saturday in which it will be necessary for me to recall all of our history. As in, everything. That's BC and AD folks. Monday while I was swimming I was not humming a tune but rather constructing the shifting dynasties of Eastern and Western Europe in my head. Consequently, not my greatest dip.

But no matter. I'm just ready to get through it. Then I can focus on my bike, my fundraising and my life. Though I will say, the stress of the test has certainly morphed me into looking like a history teacher: frazzled, jittery and disheveled.

Claire

Anniversaries

This morning has been a good one in the world of training. Got up, ran 60 minutes and am home studying for a curriculum exam I'm taking this Saturday. I say studying loosely as I've be procrastinating since I got home 3 hours ago but was thankful that my idling didn't prove to be in vain.

While checking my email there was a team note from Rebecca Holmes, the mother of Gage, the little boy my tri team is racing for this September. She was sending out words of encouragement to us all since training is becoming quite challenging and, as she so accurately put it, the "new" has worn off. She also shared with us that today is the three year anniversary of Gage's diagnosis of cancer. The journey her family has been through is truly awe-inspiring. I honestly don't know her well or her family, but every time I hear their story I become more and more proud to be participating in this event which has so profoundly helped their family and countless others.

Selfishly, it also got me thinking about other anniversaries and how important it is to remember them and celebrate them, no matter what they represent. Yesterday actually happens to have been the 12th anniversary of a car accident I was involved in when I was 17 which resulted in a very traumatic injury to my left hand. My left index finger looks like ET's (a Halloween costume I still fully intend to execute) and I'm still to this day often asked about my "burn" as the skin looks like it was at some point lit on fire.

It used to be a scene I though alot about. Nightmares, anxiety, a deep need to always drive, etc. but as time marches on the scar does fade, both externally and internally. I am so thankful to be able to use my hand almost as if it were normal. To type and tie shoes and run and swim, I am blessed. And it was a wonderful reminder this morning, to hear a celebration of thanks from a person who is still coping with trauma within her own family because of her child's health. How easy it is to be grateful when you are through a hurdle like that, but to share words of celebration while it's still going on is truly inspiring. And one of the greatest motivators I can think of.

Claire

Silence Isn't Golden

Tragedy struck whilst on the treadmill this morning. My ipod quit working - just needs to be charged but still. It just quit, right in the middle of the Flaming Lips favorite 'She Don't Use Jelly.' This was the mental equivalent of hitting the emergency stop button on the treadmill.

And it got me thinking about running in an actual race and not being able to use my ipod. I've really become reliant on that little guy. I NEED that music to push me through. And this of course got me thinking about wants and needs and how different they really are. In actuality I want my ipod when I run, but I don't need it.

It's like a blankey or any other "magical" item you might have had as a kid. You simply can't pass a test without your lucky pen or you couldn't possibly play a soccer game with your your specific hair tie. Well, my little ipod shuffle has become my blankey or binky or whatever that I can't possible run without.

And that's just ridiculous. Passing a test has nothing to do with the pen. And running a race has nothing to do with music. It's all about preparation. And that's why it's intimidating. We want to believe in a magical device or trick that makes things easier in life be it training for a triathlon or preparing for a test or just maintaining our relationships.

My favorite teacher in high school, Dr. Buchanan, gave us all Albert Einstein stickers right before we took our AP European History Exam. And I rubbed that little sticker for luck as if it were a holy relic. In fact, as I write this, I'm looking at that very sticker of Mr. Einstein, as I've saved it all these years. And I always keep it on my computer. For luck.

While I have no intention of giving up my sticker or my ipod for that matter, I do realize I don't need them- I want them. But wants be damned, I just need to prepare! Three miles today in 30 minutes is a good start.

Claire

Attitude.

As the anxiety-ridden, over-reactor that I am, people are always sharing little ditties with me to help calm me down. A fan favorite is: "Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it." With the exception of my friend Sarah, who wrote this down for me in high school on our drill team stationary and I really appreciated it at the time, I've told everyone else who has ever said this to me to go F-off (not too articulate, but highly effective in shutting down and overly-effusive helper).

However. Today, I got a taste of my own grumpy medicine when I went to run. I've been babysitting this week and it's messed with my spin schedule so I've been compensating for that deficit with running. This morning I woke up refreshed after a good nights worth of Lunesta-induced slumber but the second my feet hit the floor: I. was. pissy. I still am. I'm in a bad mood and I know why, but that's for a whole other blog.

The cruel irony is, the anger and frustration I was feeling upon stumbling out of bed only hurt me. Instead of saying, "ok, let's just go work this out on the treadmill," I grudgingly loaded myself up into my car and schlepped into the gym. I had a horrid run. And that's all in my head, because, 1. today is actually 'off' day, 2. I finally hit 3 miles in 30 minutes and 3. I'm not that tired.

But I was beaten. My attitude sucked. I really crawled through today's workout. Focusing on all the negative, and truly feeling frightened of the endeavor I've embarked upon. I hope today will improve. My daily prayer is to be in the now and to focus on the positives- aka, drink my own medicine.

When someone asked me why in the heck I was attempting a triathlon, my immediate and gut reaction was "I needed to kick my own ass." Well. Here's to another kick.

Claire

Just Like a Fish

I have really turned a corner with swimming. I'll be honest, when this process started, I though I'd take to the pool easily- I love the water!

I was wrong. Swim proved to be the most challenging aspect of training from day one. But here at week 7, I'm loving it. I finally got my rhythm down and can actually breathe (big plus). I used to huff and puff after 50 meters but now, 200 is no biggie. I realize that's a drop in the bucket since I have to swim across a river to the tick of 1800 meters, but I feel more confident in reaching the shore now.

It's also very interesting to see what pops to mind while you're swimming. For example, the other day in the pool I started stroking to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." And at the same time was pondering swim caps in general. My Grandmother always wore one. She said it kept her hair nice (she had her hair set every Monday) and I believed her. But now I think she was just crazy because nothing about a swim cap keeps your hair nice. In fact, if I'd had my hair set, a pool would be the last place I'd venture.

Anyway, these little conversations with myself pull me through to the end of the lane. And hopefully, across a river.

Claire

Thank You, Billy Idol

I just ran for 60 minutes. It was difficult. But, it was alot more fun thanks to my friend Billy Idol.

Ever since Cindy Mancini ruined her mother's fringed suede outfit with a bottle of cheap red wine to the tune of 'Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol has held my heart.

I've gotten into the habit of wrapping up my runs with "Dancing With Myself" and it never fails me. No matter how tired I am, that intro gets me right back into my rhythm. As I stare out the YMCA window, focused on one tree for concentration, I imagine I'm with all my friends, out dancing, and our early 80s favorite comes on. We do the brat pack kick and sing all together. It's cheesy, but that little daydream really pulls you through mile six when you're about to vomit.

Claire

Almost There

A bike is going to be a reality in my life this week! So far, our garage sale has been quite a success and I'm 75% of the way toward my bike! Also, I have truly perfected my haggling skills and am considering a career in consignment management or a stint on "American Pickers."

That said, I'm EXHAUSTED. Planning to rise with the sun in the morrow to get in a quick run but I'm not making any promises. Perhaps I can do laps at the pool party I'm attending tomorrow night- I'm sure that would entertain the guests.

Claire

An Aerobic Day

Today, I worked out on my own. And I mean that very literally in that I was not able to run my 40 minutes today. No, instead, I was laboring at my parent's house, preparing to sell 10 years worth of accumulated stuff at an estate sale at their home this weekend. My mother is THRILLED to have me as her hired hand now that I've been working out. I lifted boxes, set up tables, stacked books, climbed stairs, taped sheets, covered tables and even mentally exhausted myself trying to determine what to ask for my Carebear lunchbox.

Don't misunderstand- I have something to gain as well. Proceeds I make from this sale will go toward my land bike! And, of course, remaining earnings from my stuff will go towards fundraising for Team Gage! Super excited to put years worth of junk towards something so positive. If you're interested in the sale, you can find details on Facebook tomorrow.

And, while I wasn't able to get my 40min run in, I did do a quick trot around my parent's neighborhood after dinner. This was great, because it felt good to run a little, but also a good lesson was learned: don't run after eating El Fenix enchiladas. Muy malo, folks. Muy malo.

Claire

Running (well, spinning) With the Devil.

OK. Tonight, one of Satan's minons led my spin class. The bulk of the work out was "in the saddle" (seated) and at at least a level 7 of resistance. Because some crazy switch has flicked in my head that has taken me to a whole new level of self-competition (or I've actually lost it) I did exactly what the red-headed demon at the front of the class told me to do.

I will say, said demon's playlist ruled. A little Blink 182, Greenday, and Bruce's "Badlands" - which would motivate anyone to trudge forward. Definitely found myself dancing my way up the last few hills.

The devil instructor teaches Tuesday nights and Sunday. I'll be seeing her Sunday. And I may bring my light-up AC/DC devil horns for class. Rock on.

Claire

For the Love of Shoes

It should be noted, that in my closet there are approximately 75 pairs of shoes. These are just the summer ones. 95% are heels. And I love them all. I remember when and where I purchased them. I remember the special occasions I've worn then to and, honestly, I have names for a few. It goes without saying that I love shoes. I've even given up "meals" to make some of them a reality in my life.

So, I cannot tell you the glee I experienced yesterday when I discovered that my new project, aka the triathlon, would entail shoe shopping. I've been in alot of pain the past few days. I hadn't purchased new running shoes yet, but honestly, until last Tuesday, I was doing fine in my five-year-old, red kicks. But no more. The ankles- my GOSH- the ankles have been killing me.

So yeaterday I popped on over to Luke's Locker and had an experience being fitted and buying my first fancy pair of runners that was seriously on par with buying my first pair of Jimmy Choos. It was fabulous.

The nice man working the shoe floor had me walk a little and then trot around- didn't even tell him what my problem was and he could just identify it right off. He immediately said, "oh, I bet your ankles are hurtin" and I obviously was impressed. He then asked how I made the decision on my last pair of shoes, as in, was I fitted. "No," I told him. "I picked them because they were red. And they looked vintage." Silence from the nice salesman.

We tried on several pairs and I learned about pronation (which I over-do apparently) and talked about ankle support. The ultimate result is a pair of cloud-weight Asaics that made this morning's 40 minute trot on the treadmill truly blissful. Best part: they're pink. I am in love! And my ankles are so happy!

Please visit my official Team In Training Page to learn about this amazing cause. Even though I'm in love with my shoes, this isn't about them. I"m training for all those friends and family members we all have who have been affected by Leukemia and Lymphoma and our team specifically is racing for a special little boy, Gage. Click here to hear about Team in Training and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

The Honeymoon is Over

Every relationship has a honeymoon phase. And it's a delightful phase. Everything is blissful and exciting and all that goodness. And then, the honeymoon ends, and you are resentful, and tired and generally irritated. And in this case, have incredibly sore ankles.

Yes, my honeymoon phase with the exercise has ended. And that's totally fine because now I'm really settling into the reality of the experience and getting in the trenches for real. And I have to say, it's hitting me hard. I am in dire need of new running shoes (which will be taken care of today). My ankles were hurting so badly last week I was CRAWLING around my apartment. My energy sucked, so I started to eat more heartily, so now I just feel fat and sore. I am sincerely hoping that is temporary.

Thankfully, I had a very good spin class today and it was nice to be back after the long weekend off. And I'm anxious to get back to the pool as I haven't been in the water (for a workout) in over a week.

I've been told, that typically, the best stuff comes after the honeymoon. The hard work pays off and you're left with a great outcome. I've never really made it that far but I have no plans to breakup with my training. However, therapy might be in order.

Claire