Catch-Up

Well, let's see. It's Tuesday, and I haven't blogged since Friday. Whoops. A quick recap of the week/end:

Friday: Ran 3 miles in 35 minutes. Only stopped once!
Saturday: First group swim at Greenhill School- at 6:30am. Went really well- improved enurance and enjoyed learning some drills.
Sunday: Rest
Monday: Ran in the morning- shaved 15 seconds off my mile, and ran for 20 minutes straight! Whoo hoo! The run was make-up for missing Sunday's workout and that may have been a poor choice on my part. While yesterday's run went really well, I had to swim last night and it did NOT go well.

Last night's swim was my first official "bad" workout. I felt like I had the lung capacity of an 80-year-old smoker. I took in alot of water and sputtered down the lane just like I imagine the poor fish in the Gulf are these days. I'm so thankful for the supportive coaches and mentors of TNT - they really helped me stay calm and focused even though I was about to have a breakdown in the pool.

I'm not sure why I got so upset. I mean, it's not like I wasn't able to complete the laps or drills. I just needed to rest a little more than some other teammates. And that's the issue- I was playing my favorite game of "let's compare" and that's never, ever a winner for self-esteem.

Last summer, a friend gave me a great tip for those times when you're really feeling down on yourself- whenever you say something negative to yourself you must counter it with two positives. This is what I thought last night in the pool:

Negative: I look like a contestant on "the biggest loser."
Positive: No, I really don't.
Positive: I am a good gardener.

Yes. Those were my two positives. But they got me to the end of lane.

Claire

Peddling Uphill

Wrapping up week three of training and feeling relatively confident. I'm seeing changes in my endurance and physique (which is a nice added bonus) but I'm still very nervous about the entire process. I have yet to find a bike, and that's starting to really stress me out. And after last night's cycling 101, I'm honestly terrified of the biking aspect.

It's been along time since the word "torque" came up in conversation. The last time that happened, I was a junior in high school and totally digging pulley problems in my physics class. I actually really loved physics (my teacher had an STP poster- which was actually for Stone Temple Pilots but dork that I am, always assumed it was for Standard Temperature and Pressure- unbeknownst to me, Mr. Aames was a alternative geek). ANYWAY. Torque hasn't been something I've though of in awhile.

Nor was the Krebs Cycle something that came to mind, but after our little tutorial last night, I am aware that 1. torque, or force, is something I'll be thinking about a great deal going forward, 2. unless I peddle at 90RPMs I'm gonna get crampy (thank you lactic acid/Krebs) and 3. I have no idea how to operate a bike that doesn't have streamers coming out its handle bars.

It's alot to sort through. And on top of that, you know, I'm trying to figure out the rest of my life. I'd forgotten how rough unemployment can be. While I dig the time at home and the chance to workout whenever I want, it's getting a little claustrophobic in here. I find myself being desperate to make plans way in the future to secure some semblance of normalcy. I just watched 'Marley & Me' and can't quite calm down. Running to CVS for paper towels has been the highlight of the day and by the time the mailman shows up, I might just invite him in for a coke.

It's difficult to be excited about your off day on the workout schedule and Friday in general when everyday is like an off day. I know this will pass. And our big swim clinic tomorrow morning will assuredly kick my behind into gear and make me feel like I accomplished something, but today... today is a real butt-kick of a different kind.

Claire

I Could Not Think of a Clever Title Today

Another successful spin today! On Tuesday, I accidentally left the little seat cover I'm borrowing on my stationary bike and was very happy to find it in the same place this morning. I seriously don't think I could face class without that extra padding. I absolutely have a new found respect for bikers of all ilks. I also love an accessory.

And this has me very excited for our TNT meeting tonight at a bike shop in Richardson. I haven't found a bike yet so this should be really helpful to find out exactly what I need and get some tips on finding one economically. Also, I want to start thinking about all the fun things I could potentially decorate my bike with that will not hinder my progress through the race. I'm thinking streamers in my spokes. Perhaps some stickers? I'd dig a basket but I doubt that is legal. I realize this makes me sound like a second grader, but what can I say? I'm colorful. I don't do anything without an accessory.

I really don't want to attract attention or anything... that's never why I wear things with pom-poms and celluloid fruit. Honestly. I just feel more like my self with things dangling and sparkling. And that's important, especially in this endeavor. To feel relaxed in my own skin- and in this case, a skin-tight bodysuit thing. I feel like any accent I add to my little tri-outfit or my bike will be the athletic equivalent of pearls. And pearls give you power. Stay tuned for pictures.

Claire

Rockin' the Run

I ran one mile without stopping today. I haven't done that since my final Presidential Fitness Test in 8th grade. I'm so PROUD! I actually ran a total of 2.75 miles and only took two breaks- the first rest being after the first full mile. Such an ego boost for me and totally unexpected- I had a rough night's sleep last night. My whole REM cycle was filled with nightmares and I was having temperature issues- so hot in my apartment!

Given my princess-and-the-pea kind of night, I attribute my success today to my new playlist I created earlier this morning. It really is so much easier to chug along to AC/DC than Wolf Blitzer. I find CNN is totally fine for days I do the gazelle or even a bike, but if I'm on the treadmill, I need to rock.

For fun, here's what I listened today as I upped my endurance to under a 12 minute mile:
1. Thunderstruck (AC/DC)
2. All My Life (Foo Fighters)
3. Annie Waits (Ben Fold's Five)
4. Immigrant Song (Led Zeppelin)
5. What'd I say (Ray Charles)
6. Only (Nine Inch Nails)
7. Cherub Rock (Smashing Pumpkins)
8. She Don't Use Jelly (The Flaming Lips)

I would recommend this list to all beginners like myself ... they're intense songs, and all approximately 4 minutes each, so if you want to run in intervals, they're ideal! Rock on, dear reader.

Claire

Surprised by Spinning

I have to say, I'm truly shocked at how much I enjoy spin class. The reasons I am so shocked are as follows:

1. elderly classmates out-spin me
2. I require assistance from the instructor to get my little stationary bike ready to receive me
3. I sweat like a sumo wrestler in a sauna
4. I'm a loud breather

I mean, really, the list could go on and on. But despite these attention-grabbing features of spinning, I happen to LOVE it. I can't believe I have such a sense of accomplishment from, literally, going nowhere. But there's something about that little stationary bike that makes me feel like a rock star, even though I don't look like one.

It's interesting the things that go through your mind while you're sweating out every ounce of water from your body. Today, I remembered biking up the steep hills in the neighborhood where I grew up and all my skinny-minny playmates zooming past me. All the while, my 9-year-old little body was not having it (truthfully, I was alot like a neurotic New Yorker, even back then. Think Woody Allen meets hair bows- all under 5 feet- yes, there were glasses involved).

Point being, that hill was always a real beat-down. It intimidated me (and was the scene of an unfortunate rollerskating/stop sign incident) and it made me feel like I couldn't keep up. But in a room where you're not moving, there's no pressure to keep up. Only to do your best.

Claire

Patience, Grasshopper

Yes, I had another blogging hiatus- nothing as traumatizing as the last break. I was simply out of town. Had a great run on Saturday on the treadmill AND outdoors! I definitely need to be hitting the pavement more frequently, but all and all, I was please with how I did. My running coach for the day really pushed me to go much further than I would have on my own, and while I'm still sore, I feel so much more confident!

But, today it was back to the water. I've said it before: the pool scares the bejezus out of me. But I think I've identified the problem. And that would be patience, or my lack of it. A good friend came to swim this morning and in addition to just being a great person to be around, said friend is also a seasoned tri-athlete and gave some amazing tips on improving my pool time. It's all about slowing down, taking the time to really reach through your stroke and BREATHING.

Wow. Hello life lesson for the day. Truly, tips that are applicable to everything, everything, everything I do. I spend so much time projecting and worrying about the future. Will I find a job? Where will I be in a year? What AM I DOING HERE? And of course, I don't have the answers to any of those questions. It's a forest through the trees situation folks. But, if I could just work on slowing down, reaching gradually through the choppy waters of my life and breathing, always breathing, I will ultimately reach a happy place -- an evolved place if you will. I also just might reach a very real finish line come September. Thanks, Coach A- you really helped today.

Claire

Training with the Cowboys

I am very proud to announce that I could spot former Cowboy's coach Barry Switzer at the Park Cities Y. The other day when I was battling against the stick-figure runner, I thought I spotted Coach S but to be honest, I'm not the greatest sports aficionado. After seeing him again this morning, I came home, googled and voila!- I am a good Dallasite!

Additionally, I was on the treadmill as long as he was. Now, I realize, he's you know, older. But still. That's impressive to me. Of course, I garnered some irritated glances when my foot slipped out of the gazelle pedal this morning, causing my keys to fall off the cup holder and me to flail about much like an untrained circus performer being shot out of a cannon. But hey. What are you gonna do.

Feeling primed for a great Friday, folks.

Claire

Just LIke the Movies

So I had a Bridget Jones moment this morning. (one involving exercise, not vodka and cigarettes). We all remember Ms. Jones picking herself off her arse and starting to exercise, finding a new job and consequently, wooing Colin Firth (I'm not holding out for the third in that trio).

You might also remember in the film, the motivational, movie-montage moment set to "I'm Every Woman" where BJ falls off her spin bike. DON'T WORRY: I did not fall off my bike. I just related.

Yesterday was a bleh day. One where I felt totally exhausted, stressed, fearful and generally scrooge-like. But after a very, very delightful meeting with my Team in Training group and a great night sleep, I'm feeling like myself today. And like Bridget, I know this is all about kicking my own butt. I loved that movie so much because she wasn't rescued- she saved herself. And I intend to save myself from another scrooge day.

**Also, felt a slight tinge of "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" going on in class this morning. My favorite new work out pal is an old high school friend. We may have already had the 10 year, but it just reminded me of R & M's attempts to buff up in a short amount of time. I'm going to nominate crazy, early 90s work-out attire for our next spin.

Claire

Who put the 'rant' in Grant? ME!

I'll be honest: today has sucked. Now, my workout went well this morning but I ran on a treadmill next to a very annoying, stick-figure of a runner. And I swear she was competing with me... I'd up the speed of my treadmill and she'd adjust hers. I'd walk and she'd run harder, very smugly. Whatever. Good for you that you have the metabolism of a hummingbird and are married to a plastic surgeon. You go right ahead and outrun me.

Then I came home and the ants which I thought I'd eradicated had returned. In full force. You leave one crumb on your counter and it's like the casting call for "A Bug's Life" in your kitchen. And my cats will not leave me alone. They are so thrilled I'm home all the time they're jumping all over me and consequently shedding in my coffee cup. Which is gross.

Around noon I had the joy of taking some clerical tests a temp agency. In case you were wondering, I'm a crackerjack typer- 81 words a minute. Really putting that education to good use.

And, I've missed open swim for the afternoon so I'll probably drown come September.

Obviously, I'm losing sight of all of this today. And by all of this, I mean the reason I'm training. I'm training for people who have it so much worse than I do. I'm training for people who are sick with Lymphoma and Leukemia and who can't, right at this moment, be outrun by some twit at the Y. And I'm grateful I am doing it. I just wish SOMETHING would go right today.

Claire

I've Got Two Tickets to the Gun Show

So, my arms look amazing. I really don't know what to tell you. It's like God's giving me a consolation prize for losing my job because no joke, I've got some biceps that just won't quit. Which is a brand new experience for me and a great motivator to press forward with training.

I swam this morning and while I'm still grossly out of shape, it was a more successful dip this time out. Consequently, I've deiced I need to hit the pool daily for a while in order to really build up my endurance. A very nice woman who is also doing the Nation's Tri was there to give some tips (p.s., she's also apparently done some Iron Mans). She said my form was fine - big relief- I just need to have some endurance- or at least that's what I could hear over my panting.

I was naively most intimidated by the run aspect of this endeavor, and don't misunderstand, it still scares the bejezus out of me, but swimming is shaping up to be the biggest hurdle in my mind. And it's made me think about sports metaphors.

I have a bunch of friends who are avid runners and they always say "oh running, it's free therapy." Or "running is a metaphor for life." And I think that's great. But I don't get it. Sure, if you're a calm and consistent person who trots along through life meeting benchmark goals in a normal fashion and time frame, but occasionally get down in the dumps and stumble and then get back up, ya, I see the running metaphor.

I just don't relate. I think swimming is my metaphor. I go thorough life splashing and sputtering and belly flopping and diving headfirst and doggy-paddling to shore and then carelessly jumping back in. I'm like a very, very slow fish with asthma who likes to make a scene. And that is something I should probably work on. But until I turn into a smooth sailer, at least my arms look hot.

Claire

Re-do

I took a brief hiatus from blogging this weekend, but not because I didn't work out. I had the pleasure of attending a fabulous wedding in Houston (where I thoroughly enjoyed the gym at the St. Regis and a delightful fruit plate after my workout). But I also lost my job on Friday.

When the opportunity to sign up for this triathalon presented itself just 3 weeks ago, I felt called to sign up because I was looking to really make some changes in my life. And I certainly have. My life looks nothing like it did exactly a year ago. Everything has been stripped down to the studs. And I welcome it.

I got up this morning, jumped on the treadmill and honestly, had a very successful run. It felt great. I am so excited to have this training to look forward to every day. In fact, I'm hitting up the Y later to get in a swim since I missed yesterday's workout.

When you lose a job, people always start talking truisms- doors closing, windows opening, you know the schtick. I think the obvious assumption is that a new job would be my new window. But I have to wonder if this goal, this training, isn't my window. Not to sound cheesy, but it's the most intimidating thing I've attempted, maybe ever. The process is completely uncharted territory and I think that's where we really have the chance to evolve.

This whole year has been unchartered territory in many ways. There have been lots of tears, and stress and frustration. But here, with one more challenge to add to my list, I say bring it. I'm tired of crying and I'm ready to get moving.

Claire

Run!

Yes, I ran. Well, at least, on a gazelle-like apparatus- but still. I chugged along to the tune of 2.5 miles in 30 minutes. Given my over-all exercise malaise for the past decade you would probably assume that distance was the highlight of my gym visit today. But that is because you weren't there.

If you had been there, you would have known and agreed that the highlight of today's journey to the YMCA was the chance to watch (briefly) a senior citizens' step aerobics class. I have to tell you, the sight of a woman pushing 80, hopping up an down with little-to-no-effort on a step to the tune of "Don'cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" may have been the best (albeit somewhat disturbing) thing I've seen in I don't know how long. Granny's still got it. And I'm on my way.

Tomorrow I will tackle my, at times, paralyzing gym anxiety and approach the treadmill for an actual attempt to bust into stride. The gym honestly terrifies me. It's like walking into the junior high cafeteria- and I just pray that I don't get stuck at the reject table... aka, the infirmary.

Claire

The Morning After

I swam last night. I swam for the first time in approximately 10 years. To be clear, I've been in a pool. I've been in many bodies of water in fact, but to actually, aggressively swim with some inkling of "technique," we're talking YEARS.

What did I learn during my hour in the pool? Several things.

1. I am, in fact, out of shape.

2. If I were to be chased by a shark and my life depended on out-swimming the beast, I would die.

3. The supportive presence of a friend is one of the strongest and most helpful forces in the world (thanks to my would-be swim coach for the day, Tori).

4. The greatest sleep aid is exercise.

5. I can and will improve.

If you know me, you're asking yourself, "why in the heck is Claire talking about exercise?" and if you don't know me, you're thinking "why in the world should I care?" Both are very legitimate questions. Here's the deal: I have recently decided and began the process of training for a triathalon this September to be held in Washington DC.

Here are the details from my official fundraising page which you can visit here: "As some of you may already know, I'm training to participate in the Nation's Triathalon this September 12, in Washington D.C. as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team In Training. I'm very excited to support a foundation I believe in and that does amazing work at impacting the lives of thousands of cancer patients.

All of us on Team In Training are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives. I am completing this event in honor of all individuals who are battling blood cancers. These people are the real heroes on our team, and we need your support to cross the ultimate finish line - a cure!"

You should also know, I've never done anything like this in my life. So why now? Firstly, I believe in the incredible work of the LLS- blood cancers are something we've all been touched by and I am proud to support research for a cure. But secondly, and more selfishly, I'm doing this for me. I want to cross a finish line (it's more complicated than that, but I'll spare you the emotional explanation- for now). I hope you'll check in and see my progress. I'm looking forward to this very bumpy ride.

Claire

***Please visit my official Team in Training LLS page here!***