Finish Line Report- Finally!

This might seem a bit anti-climactic, but I thought I'd blog about the Triathlon last weekend. FINALLY.

It went beautifully. Despite temperatures low enough to make our breath visable, pouring rain until we got in the water and a flat tire in transition one, the Nation's Triathlon went off without a hitch for me and my wonderful team. Seriously. It did.

I had a personal best swim, getting out of the water in 38 minutes. I was feeling strong when I got to transition and put my helmet on. Sadly, Blue Steel wasn't feeling it. Not sure how it happened but my back tire was flat. I mean, it couldn't have been flatter if it tried. I couldn't get the tire off to save my life because my arms were so tired- total mush.

Thankfully my friend Tori was just behind me and gave up her time to help me. We labored over that tire for 29minutes until it was finally road-ready. Wow. I think for the first time in my life I really experienced, or at least allowed myself to experience, the true meaning of "teamwork." It was incredibly humbling to have a fellow teammate and friend blindly give of her time during transition, sacrificing her race time, to help me. I couldn't have done it without her and I think the only way I could adequately pay her back is to simply pay it forward. I look forward to that opportunity.

Biking did go well though after I was finally rolling. The course was gorgeous. We circled through some of the monuments and then out into Virginia. Rolling hills and babbling brooks dotted the course. It was nice and cool and I didn't even finish my water bottle. And, Blue Steel and I made it in in just under 1:40:00-a personal best for sure.

Running couldn't have gone better either. Since we were on the same time frame, I was able to join T for the run and it was really awesome to get to cross that finish line with the person who talked me into this whole ordeal in the first place! We proudly trotted that 6mile stint out in just a little over one hour- pretty awesome considering there was a bathroom break in there and some back pain to boot.

Never in my whole life did I think I'd do anything like this. 6 months ago, if you'd ask me to go on a run, I would have laughed in your face and tell you I don't work out. Well, now, I'm preparing to run a half marathon in December, and may even do another Tri in October.

Having a goal again has been life-changing. I don't mean to diminish the significance of what our team accomplished- cumulatively, we raised over 200k for Leukemia and Lymphoma research and helped our fellow Triathlete Rebecaa Holmes countdown the last days of her precious son Gage's chemotherapy- and he's the real reason we were all there.

But selfishly, I gained so much. I think we often forget that people go through great pain and challenges because they might look fine or talk a good game. But really, you never know what's going on behind closed doors. For me, having this goal, and crossing that finish line has helped to exorcise alot of demons. Some are more stubborn than others, but regardless, it's caused a shift. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

I plan to keep blogging about my training- stay tuned.

Claire

The Countdown's On

I cannot believe it is only 12 days until THE BIG DAY! Dear Lord. Training has flown by. This is the last week of intense workout and then we taper off until D Day on September 12. I've been running and biking and swimming galore this week and am feeling really strong. Health-wise, I'm well. The steroids have really bought me some time and I'm very grateful. However, tomorrow will be my last dose of the wonder drug and I'm anxious to see how I feel off of them. Pray that this calmed version of my colon lasts through the event.

I'm planning to swim tomorrow evening after work. Now that I'm working full time again, early morning workouts are especially brutal, so in an effort to maximize my energy, I'll be going for a 7pm dip instead of a 5am ride! I have to say, I'm totally happy with that decision. Saturday morning will be my last major bike ride until the event. Again, I could not be happier about that.

Blue Steel and I have definitely bonded on some levels. We groan at the same time, so I think that's a form of solidarity, and you know what, I'll take what I can get. I've actually come to like the little booger (my bike) and no longer plan to sell BS post race. Might even take him out for a spin every now and again. (seriously, I'll need some carrot to dangle in front of me as incentive, so if anyone has any bike dreams you're interested in living out, fill me in. I need the motivation).

Now it's time for bedtime. I go to bed at the same time as all local 3rd graders these days. Never would I have guessed I'd happily turn in my night-owl ways for lights out by 10. Growth folks. Major growth.

Sweet Dreams,
Claire

The Roids

I never though I'd say this (especially after the stint I had with them as a 16-year-old) but I love steroids. And so does my compromised colon. We had a great workout yesterday! Did 22ish miles on the bike and ran 4 miles after. Best part, I felt GREAT. I am so thankful. It's a short dose of steroids- only 7 days- but the theory is that the quick shot will nip my Crohn's in the bud before it rages on too out of control. This is the nature of the beast but there is always that fear that after stopping the steroids, the beast will resurface, which based on the timing of this, would be almost right at race day. But we can't worry about tomorrow. So today, I'm grateful to God for making this treatment available and for my doctor who enthusiastically wrote the prescription.

I'm also thankful for the flat tire I had yesterday. I changed it all by myself, with moral support from a sweet teammate and a nice stranger who gave me a CO2 cartridge. I am so happy to know I can change a tire should that happen race day. Huge relief!

Today I swim. Going up to the SMU pool to practice in the big kid lane (50meters). It's exactly two weeks from today, that the big kid lane I'll be swimming in will be the Potomac River. Can't believe we're in the home stretch!

Claire

MIA

Once again I've fallen short on my blog. Which is sad because last weekend was AWESOME! I participated in my first triathlon! Our team did Take on the Heat in The Colony- a sprint tri. The distances were as follows:
350 meter swim
12.2 mile bike
3.2 run

I am happy to report I kicked that mother's butt to the tune of 1:36:01! I was surprised that my strongest showing was in swim, completing the distance in 8:44. Biking wasn't too shabby at 47 minutes and I held strong to my running pace, finishing it up at 34 minutes. It was a great showing and I have to say, I feel really proud.

Now the anxiety kicks in, which is two-fold. Firstly, I was EXHAUSTED after the event. Like, wrecked. And it has nothing to do with my nutrition. I was nutrient rich folks... it was just really hard. And since the big event is DOUBLE those lengths, I'm all aflame about that.

But secondly, and most frustratingly, I've had a bit of a health hiccup. I have a fun and fabulous little condition known as Crohn's Disease. And the sleeping monster has reared its ugly head this week. I've had a rough few days with very little exercise. I've started a round of steroids (no, not the kind that will bulk me up and induce rage and hair growth) so that should help. It is going to help. Come hell or high-water, me and my colon are crossing that finish line on September 12.

Tomorrow I'm biking for the first time this week. And running. I'm very excited to do it and I really hope I can keep it together. This event means a great deal to me. Prayers are appreciated.

Claire

Where Did the Week Go?

Well, I've been a delinquent blogger this week!!! If anyone actually reads this regularly, I apologize.

Its been a busy week, so I'll use that as my excuse for my online absence. Training is humming along per usual. Running and swimming and biking, oh my- everyday. Today, I'll be swimming at SMU to practice one more time in a 50meter lane before this Sunday...

What's happening Sunday? My first sprint triathlon! Our team is participating in Take on the Heat in The Colony (for non Dallas-ites, The Colony is a suburb of Dallas with a really creepy name... much like White Settlement, yes, that exits). ANYWAY. The sprint tri is Sunday morning bright and early. We'll swim 350 meters in a pool about 12 miles on bike and then a 5k run. Should be a great day. I'm excited to have another chance to practice all three events at once and of course, improve my transition time between each event!

Also, I just hope I can finish without vomiting or passing out. That is truly the main objective.

Happy Friday!
Claire

Third Times a Charm

Saturday morning was kind of a big deal. Big in that we did three mini-triathlons back to back. The distances for each tri were not that long at all, but putting three together, and practicing transitioning between each discipline in 90+ degree heat proved to be very challenging!

As you know, I'm generally intimidated by this entire process and am in an emotionally abusive relationship with my bike, BS, so I was surprised yesterday that my angst and frustration were not particularly directed at BS but rather at the transitions. Meaning, getting from the water to my bike and getting ready to bike. It's hard to gear up in an efficient manner! I have always prided myself on my ability to get ready quickly. I can get my hair washed and dried, makeup on and clothes styled in 30 minutes and actually look good.

But I cannot, for some reason, clean my feet, put on socks and tie my shoes in a timely manner. It may be an issue of space. In my day, I've lived in apartments the size of generous closets, but you'd never know it if you saw me scrambling to get ready to bike.

Here's the situation:
1. You hang your bike on a rack which is jam packed with everyone else bike- (I cannot even imagine how tight it will actually be in DC- yesterday was just our TNT team and it was cheek to jowl.)
2. You lay a small towel by you bike wheel which is touching the ground and set up all your gear.
3. On your tiny towel, you place your running/biking shoes, (for me they're the same, as I'm not using bike shoes to clip onto my bike) socks, helmet, gloves, sunglasses, nutrition, etc. Basically anything you need for the biking portion and ultimately the running portion.

This all looks fine and dandy before you enter the water. But, when you emerge from the grungy lake water, run to your station, rip of your aquatic accessories and scramble to clean your feet and prepare for a dry activity, that little towel looks like it's mocking you- I swear, my towel was laughing at me yesterday as I stumbled trying to put my sock on one clean foot while balancing on the filthy one.

By the third round, the transitions were improving for me. I was able to consistently complete each tri in the same neighborhood of time, and I felt strong afterward-Mostly, grateful to have practiced. In order to keep my momentum up for having awesome transitions, I have decided to start timing my showers and laying out my clothing, just to see how fast I an really be- I'll keep you posted.

Claire

If You Need Extra Protein in Your Diet

If you need extra protein in your diet, consider riding around White Rock Lake in the early morning with your mouth open. The gnats you'll consume are enough to nourish anyone. I feel like a greedy frog.

So, obviously, I rode this morning. And it was fine. BS and I are getting along well this week. We're still the tortoise, bringing up the tail end, but regardless, we're moving along at a consistent clip, and I just have to evolve to the point where I'm OK with that. This is a race against myself and not anyone else.

If only I could be more pleasant while riding. As always, my thoughts drifted between the serious aspects of my life and the more trivial. And today's trivial, albeit entertaining thought, was this: if I were a character in "Animal House" (and this is as it pertains to working out, not socializing) I'd be Douglas Needermeir. As we learn at the end of the film, his platoon mutinied and killed him in Vietnam. That's how pleasant I am, folks, to my teammates. If we were trapped in the jungle on our bikes, they might consider taking me out for the morale of the whole. I have GOT to get out of my head and realize that when people ask me how training is going, they aren't implying I suck... that's all me and my crazy.

Last night we had an open water swim out at Lake Ray Hubbard... what a clean body of water that is. It was also approximately a bagillion degrees. But, all and all, I did just fine. My sighting has improved and I finished the workout. This of course, was after a mini-temper tantrum to one of the nicest mentors TNT has provided in which I think I said something along the lines of "I'm totally screwed. I quit." If I had had dry land beneath my feet, I would have stomped and kicked and made other pronouncements like a petulant three-year-old. It's all very charming.

Point of these wonderful insights into my team-player abilities is to say, even though I'm a bit of a handful, I think I'm growing. Admission is the first part of recovery.

As for recovery this morning, it will involve almonds, prayer and a shower.

Happy Tuesday,
Claire

Also, please visit my official Team In Training page to donate today- after all, supporting LLS and helping save lives what this is all about!

Weekend Update

Let's see... Saturday morning did a trip around the lake with BS. It really wasn't that bad... did some hills and got about 15 miles in a hour. And that's probably a good pace for me to focus on. If I'm able to do that race day, the biking portion will take me approximately 1hr. 4omin, and I can live with that and still be ready to run.

And there was running on Saturday as well. Did 4 miles in 45min. I'm very thankful that my treadmill time seems to be translating nicely to road time. THANK GOD. It is so helpful to feel capable at one of these disciplines!

Today, I did a 30 minute jog on the treadmill, since it's to hot to move outdoors, and got 3.5 miles in. Felt good. Glad I did it. Tomorrow we have another open water swim. Which is terrifying but excellent. It's a whole different ballgame out in the open water. Very Hitchcock-esque- hello Vertigo.

Happy Sunday,
Claire

Oh, Blue Steel

I love that my bike's initials are BS (for Blue Steel).

I think BS is starting to retaliate against me and my feelings of hatred toward him. He's started squeaking... almost comically. And sometimes, humiliatingly.

It's the breaks... they're loud. Each stop, you can hear me coming from WAY off. Which is probably good in some ways- I always have plenty of room and no one doubts my location. However, I hate the attention-draw. I'm not a fan of people looking at me, pretty much ever, so when Blue Steel starts howling at my insistence for him to slow down, heads turn. Looks like we'll be making another trip up to our therapist, aka, Richardson Bike Mart, to get the breaks all good and lubed.

I did however make it around the lake twice today, threw in a few hills and residential streets, so we're looking at close to 20miles... I guess I can't totally fault BS for groaning a little.

Claire

Should I Consider Competative Eating?

Did I really just run 45 minutes without stopping? I'm not sure if I should be proud or terrified. One thing is for certain... I'm exhausted. Ran and then swam today, per our schedule's assignment. Today I logged 4.5 miles running and 1500 meters swimming.

In order to prepare for this feat, I ate accordingly. Truth be told, I've been struggling with my nutrition during training. I'm required to eat a boatload of calories each day including scary foods like fat-dense nuts and dreaded carbohydrates... lots and lots of carbs! But, if you don't eat like you should, you start to feel funky and then, you can't preform.

So, today, I ate 15 pancakes in two sittings- one stack at 8:00am and another at 10:30am. I also enjoyed 4 pieces of turkey bacon. I drank a gatorade, 4 cups of coffee and had a few glasses of water. For lunch, I had hummus and pita bread, a large cheeseburger and fries and a cappuccino. I had another gatorade before I worked out and some almonds. Between running and swimming, I had half a luna bar and for dinner I had steak nachos from Mi Cocina. I'm finally full. And already looking forward to breakfast.

Claire

This Week

So far, so good. Had a great swim outdoors yesterday at SMU's 50meter pool- always helpful to get in a longer lane. It's so weird how that longer trek makes you tired- even when you're doing the same distance you cover in a 25 meter pool. Obviously, it's very beneficial to practice.

Also, had a nice ride this morning. Made it around the lake twice and took on a few hills. For the first time, I was thrilled to be riding at 5:45am - it's so hot here. Riding any later would be suicide.

Happy Tuesday,
Claire

A Wolfpack of One

I'm starting to embrace my inner lone wolf. Not in a scary way, like the uni-bomber or anything, but more like an eccentric who can't be bothered with really fast bike-riders. I rode alone today and it was a real delight. Please note, I enjoy ever single person I'm training with. They are all fabulous, funny, kind-hearted people. But they're all faster than me, and today, I needed some solitary exercise to actually feel capable.

And it worked. I made it around the lake in 30 minutes, and for me, that was a huge accomplishment. I even did some hills! Feeling like a real badass, I decided to run two miles after I loaded Blue Steel back up into the Jetta! AND I got those 2miles in just under 20 minutes.

Fun sidenote: When I started to trot off from my car, there were several bikers around me pumping their tires and getting ready for a ride. When I got back from my two miles, the same bikers were still there- they were like "hey, you ok? Why'd you come back so quick?" To which I responded, "Oh, I just did a quick two miles"... they were very impressed!

Clearly, I run better in a pack of one. I realize I'll have to get over this since I'll be running and biking and swimming with, like, 1,000 people soon, but for today, I liked my me time.

Claire

If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

I think I'll take my Mother's greatest life advice: Since I can't say anything nice about my bike, or biking, I'm not going to say anything at all.

Instead, I'll say, I had a great swim last night: 1500 meters! So yesterday was a great day workout-wise- I completed the event distances for run and swim- boo-ya!

This morning's ride was approximately 13 miles. That is the only info you get.

Happy Tuesday,
Claire

Double Days

I am very proud to report that I ran 6miles this morning! This is the distance I'll run in the actual event so that feels really, really good. Got it in in 63 minutes- only walked 3 times. First walk at 3.2 miles, second at 4.5, third at 5.75 (I know, kinda whimped out, but finished running nevertheless). Not too shabby, in my opinion.

Tonight, we swim. I must admit. I really like days where I swim AND run. I don't know why, except, it makes me feel alot cooler than I am. And that's nice. We don't get many opportunities in life to feel that way, so I savor those doubled-up days.

Challenge for the week is to figure out how to incorporate some additional bike rides. My un-official coach has recommended I bump up to four rides a week... and frankly, I couldn't agree more. After riding with Coach last week, and getting some strengthening tips, working on turns and practicing drinking from my water bottle while peddling, I felt SO much better. The more I can do that, the better off I'll be in the ways of biking anxiety.

Stay tuned...
Claire

Mark This Day On Your Calendar

July 24, 2010: Blue Steel and I began to bond today. I'm not going to go out on a limb here and say I "like" biking, but I will tell you, this morning's group ride was semi-miraculous. I don't know if it was the nutrition lecture I received earlier this week or the Tylenol simply-sleep I took last night, but something clicked this morning and I had a really strong ride. Or I should say, my strongest yet.

120min set aside for a ride is an intimidating chunk --Especially when you start thinking "oh God, please don't let me take 120 minutes to finish my ride during the actual event." However, the time spun by pretty quickly. We started with a simple ride around the lake. A nice breeze helped keep sweating to a minimum (excellent since I can only carry one water bottle with me presently) and there were fewer bikers out this morning (though, there were a FREAKISH amount of runners out... seriously, they were in packs).

After the first time around the lake we plodded through Lakewood taking on some pretty serious hills. Many a curse word was uttered. Then it was back around the lake and one more time up the hill, aptly attached with the street Loving.

Finished with approximately 21 miles at 120 minutes, including a break to help a teammate with a flat- so really, we made some good time! This was also my third time this week to watch a flat tire be repaired, so I'm feeing very prepared, mechanically speaking.

Truly, my attitude about biking is shifting... I think it's going to be fine. AND, possibly the best side-effect: biking has removed me from kankle-warning-zone. It's good to be out of danger.

Claire

Third Times a Charm

I finally rode today. After two ill-fated tries, I got to White Rock at 7, hopped on board Blue Steel and got around the lake in under an hour. Which was a good ego boost and a slight improvement. So, hurrah for trying one more time today!

Still feeling slow, but truly getting more and more comfortable on teh bike. I don't know that this will be my favorite segment of the event, but I am starting to feel like it might not be a total disaster!

Happy Trails,
Claire

Do-Over Please

It's been an ill-fated workout day so far! Tuesday is a bike day, so per usual, I set my alarm for 4:45am this morning to be ready to roll by 5:45am with my teammates. Unfortunately I had a health related issue this morning and had to turn around and come home before even unloading my bike.

Feeling much better by 8am, I put my workout clothes back on and went to unload the bike. Nothing wrong with a nice, flat ride around my neighborhood for a change. And then I broke my tire. I tried using the little hand pump my bike came with and I took off the gauge on the tire that holds the air in, so I flatted myself. Awesome.

Then while I was walking my bike in, I cut my ankle on it's peddle.

Seriously. I WANT TO LIKE MY BIKE. I REALLY DO. But we're in a fight right now. We'll be going to counseling later today, aka, Richardson Bike Mart for a new tire, good pump and a little give and take.

Claire

Monday Swim

So, I'm either completely broken down or I'm growing. Whichever it is, I was a good team player tonight and actually allowed myself to be coached for once. Now, I was a little bit snarky at first, but after taking a deep breath and listening to our TNT coach, I was able to improve my swimming tonight.

I've made some real progress for sure, but still, I've been having difficulty really being buoyant in the water. My legs tend to drag and my bottom sinks. The problem is I'm not looking down enough when I put my head in the water. I've been so hyper-focused on my breathing and getting my arms to really propel me, I've kinda forgotten about my bottom half.

But tonight I really listened and tried what the coach said. When you put your face in the water, over-exaggerate a little as if you were looking at your feet. And voila! You float! Who knew?

I think after almost 30 years, my inner-only child is finally being beaten into submission. Thank goodness!

Claire

Double Brick

I had to take a day off blogging after yesterday's workout. Because I was traumatized. Saturday morning was my first brick- meaning, two disciplines in one workout. And it was a double, so the morning consisted of: 9 mile bike ride, 2 mile run, 9 mile bike ride, 2 mile run.

And when I say it was hard, I mean, it was really, really, really, really hard. And hot. And I cried. Alot. And my knees hurt. Alot. And I cursed at my bike. Alot. And I got passed by elderly bike riders and kids. Alot. And I wanted to give up. Alot.

But, I did not quit. I almost vomited on my pretty pink running shoes, but I didn't quit. I finished that danged thing, and after a 36 hour reflection period in which I've had many "exercise is a metaphor for life moments," I feel OK.

I feel OK because:
1. I am proud I didn't quit and go home, like I wanted to.
2. I was humbled by a friend's unselfish support to run the last leg of my brick with me, even when she had already finished her workout and was certainly tired.
3. I feel stronger today after breaking down on my bike.
4. I was able to do my run today and get 4.5 miles in 45 minutes.
5. I will get back on my bike this week. Blue Steel and I will bond, come hell or high water.

I really did used to scoff when people would say all that stuff about running being a metaphor for life. Don't misunderstand ... I love a good underdog story, but I just never bought into it. Life is a metaphor for life. I mean, it's life. I just assumed these people didn't understand the definition of metaphor- the way people use irony inaccurately.

But yesterday when I was spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and I kept getting passed and I couldn't keep up.... HELLO. Thank you metaphor. I must focus on doing MY best and not keeping up with everyone else. I've got a big learning curve in many areas of my life so I need to train and practice and pray for patience.

I'll catch up. In my own sweet time.

Claire

The Little Engine That Could

I think we all can appreciate the value of moralistic children's stories. I personally love children's literature. However, I'm feeling a little bit cynical today after my morning bike ride and I've been thinking all day, what kind of drugs is the Little Engine on that he's so positive? I mean really? Who goes through life chanting "I think I can, I think I can?" Didn't the Little Engine ever feel dejected or frustrated? Or fat? I assure you that if the Little Engine were to race against a bullet train he would not say "I think I can." He'd say "Let's pull into the station. It's 5'oclock somewhere."

Truth be told, my ride was not that bad this morning. There were some real positives actually. I'm more comfortable on Blue Steel- I'm really learning to use my gears to my advantage and I was able to complete our 10 mile ride without a stop.

But I'm slow. No longer is the excuse "I'm not comfortable with my bike" accurate. I'm just slow. Which leads us to another beloved parable, "The Tortoise and the Hare." My issue is I'm a hare in a tortoises body. I want to move fast and keep up with my other rabbit friends (aka, the people I ride with) but alas, I'm back here with the other tortoises (geriatrics and recent weigh-loss surgery patients). I suppose the fact that a triathlon is an endurance event should make me proud to be more tortoise-like, but I do feel a little frustrated today.

I had though I should try and get back to spin, but a friend and teammate suggested I just stick with my bike. Get out on it on my own, and continue to ease into it. She brings up a good point in that spin is all about increasing resistance whereas riding on the road is all about maintaining a good cadence with minimal impact, ie, use your gears! So I'm going to stick with it, and embrace my inner-tortoise. As far as the Little Engine goes, I don't trust anyone that optimistic, however, my face turns so red when I work out, I do look steam-powered. It's fair to say, I'm a character.

Claire

Today's Lesson

I had a little moment in the pool today. After running for 40 minutes, I hopped in for a 60 minute swim- this sequence of events made me feel like a real badass. I mean. Seriously. If you know me at all, you know that such activity is COMPLETELY out of character. What's more, I like it. As I began my warm-up for swim, I just had a real sense of strength today.

Which is incredible. To actually feel physically strong, and not just like an emotional steel trap, is a very unique feeling for me. I've always thought of myself as tough because I have a very high tolerance for pain. And to a degree that does make me pretty cool, however, I've never considered myself someone who's in shape, per se. My left hand is oddly strong because I had to have physical therapy on it after my car accident back in the day (which was also good for opening jars and my piano playing- I can reach a whole octave with my left), but besides that, I've always been a little pudgy, and a little puny.

But not today. Today I felt strong. I'd like to bottle that feeling up and save it for other days when I don't feel so hot. Days when I freak out about the job situation, or my health, or just general ridiculousness. I think a good swig of "strong" would be an amazing tool for life. Sadly, I'll just have to keep drinking the over-chlorinated pool water to get my high. It's better than the alternative for sure.

Claire

Thanks

I feel compelled this morning to thank every single person who has ever attempted to teach, train or coach me. You are destined for Sainthood.

To all the dance teachers I had, who encouraged me to preform in the front row and not care how I looked in my costume despite my ability or appearance; To my piano teacher who let me come back each week even though I never practiced; To my softball coaches who didn't mind my temper tantrums in deep, deep right field; To a drill team instructor who didn't kick me off the line even after some serious acting out; To all the teachers who told me I was smart even when I was mostly a smart ass. THANK YOU. I am not easy to deal with. At all.

And so now, this morning, I say thank you to the tri-teammates who help me along as I meet new challenges with training. Even though I often lash out at TNT staff and fellow tri-ers, it's nothing personal. It's just the way I cope with fear. Which is probably something I should evaluate.

When you've been as complacent and sedentary as I have been for the past 10 years though, fear is a part of your daily life. And it's very at home with you. Fear has no desire to leave you because it's in control. So starting to conquer that demon of sorts is a little bit like and exercise exorcism. All that fear and worry about not being able to do something start to fight back against you and it really pisses your fear and other negative emotions off. Which is exhausting. I feel like I've been ushered into the crying segment of my training. However, if my head starts spinning around like Linda Blair's, I feel confident there's a book deal in it for me.

Happy Tuesday,
Claire

Open Water

So Saturday we had our first open water swim. Which was interesting. I am very grateful I've been practicing my stroke all this time as it's a whole new experience to get out in the water. Here are the things I learned:

1. I hope to God I am never shipwrecked.
2. The fear of alligator gar is almost paralyzing.
3. Spotting is not just a ballet term.

Seriously though, it did go well. I felt very strong in my swimming abilities however, I do not feel strong in my ability to swim straight. First lap around I almost found myself in the middle of the lake. However, by our last lap or two I was swimming a much more even keel and truthfully, was not too physically drained. Just emotionally.

I also had a flashback to childhood (which seems to happen an awful lot these days and makes me feel like I was a way more traumatized kiddo than I realized when it comes to "playing nicely") regarding some "coaching." I do not do well with encouragement when I am frustrated. After swimming way off course for the second time and exhausting myself trying to get reoriented, I did not take kindly to a team in training coach who was floating on a kyak mid course asking me "hey, you a new swimmer?" No, sir. I am not. I'm actually becoming quite a strong swimmer and if you ask me again if I'm struggling, I'm going to take your kyak paddle and stuff it somewhere you won't enjoy.

Thankfully I had a 70 minute run to do after getting my blood pressure up in the water so I left feeling very zen. Happy paddling.

Claire

Success!

I FINALLY got to ride my bike this morning with my teammates!!! I was no speed demon, but I made it around White Rock Lake in one piece!

It's been 10 years (at least) since I rode a bike and it's true what they say: "It's just like riding a bike." I really did feel more secure by the end of our 10 mile trek and actually, not that tired. Just relieved to get off without injury. I was terrified I'd fall and break something or gash something. So, consequently, I rode like a member of the geriatric set, but no matter!

I am so glad I've been spinning all this time because my endurance was good and I'm not sore. The biggest hurtle for me and biking is just getting used to riding the danged thing. Honestly, the biggest surprise this morning was how easily the balance and cadence of riding came back.

That and how much my hands hurt while riding. My poor little paws were cramping the whole time. Truthfully, that was the only uncomfortable thing about riding- well, that and the anxiety I felt every time a super- speedy pack of pro-riders swished by. I am so glad to have this first time out behind me and eager to get back in the saddle again tomorrow. Maybe I should consider a bike route if a job doesn't pan out- two birds with one stone, no?

Claire

Blue Steel

I have a bike! And because it's an awesome blue color, not dissiilar to a beetle found in teh Amazon, I have named her Blue Steel. Found it today on craigslist, went and checked it out and it's now sitting in the back of my car (need to get it out after I post). For a very modest price I now am an official triathlon trainee! And by official I mean I finally have all my equipment.

I have to say, I have such a sense of relief now that I have my bike. It has really been driving me crazy. Of course, a new fear has started to surface about actually riding the danged thing... it's probably been 10 years since I've been on a bike. Looking forward to some cool new scars.

Claire

MIA

To those loyal readers of my little blog, I apologize for being so out of the loop the past few days. I have been training, don't fret. However, last week was a bit of a bear. Just had a hard time getting going. I'm still searching for a bike and it's starting to become the thorn in my side. I'm freaking out about it honestly and I have got to get over it because it's starting to effect the way I train in general. Hello procrastination (and funds- I just can't bring myself to buy new, but it's looking hopeless).

But on a positive note I participated in my first official 5k this weekend and knocked that bad boy out of the water to a tune or 3.2 miles in 31 minutes. Not too shabby for a novice runner and a panicked tri-in-training participant.

More to come.
Claire

Good to Be Back

Spin was awesome today! I missed all last week so I was a little bit nervous but all that running has really paid off. I felt so strong this morning and really had a great workout! Intense, but great.

Also planning to swim this afternoon since I didn't yesterday. Yes, I've been a little flexible with my schedule this week but I'm starting to cave under the pressure of my impending test this Saturday in which it will be necessary for me to recall all of our history. As in, everything. That's BC and AD folks. Monday while I was swimming I was not humming a tune but rather constructing the shifting dynasties of Eastern and Western Europe in my head. Consequently, not my greatest dip.

But no matter. I'm just ready to get through it. Then I can focus on my bike, my fundraising and my life. Though I will say, the stress of the test has certainly morphed me into looking like a history teacher: frazzled, jittery and disheveled.

Claire

Anniversaries

This morning has been a good one in the world of training. Got up, ran 60 minutes and am home studying for a curriculum exam I'm taking this Saturday. I say studying loosely as I've be procrastinating since I got home 3 hours ago but was thankful that my idling didn't prove to be in vain.

While checking my email there was a team note from Rebecca Holmes, the mother of Gage, the little boy my tri team is racing for this September. She was sending out words of encouragement to us all since training is becoming quite challenging and, as she so accurately put it, the "new" has worn off. She also shared with us that today is the three year anniversary of Gage's diagnosis of cancer. The journey her family has been through is truly awe-inspiring. I honestly don't know her well or her family, but every time I hear their story I become more and more proud to be participating in this event which has so profoundly helped their family and countless others.

Selfishly, it also got me thinking about other anniversaries and how important it is to remember them and celebrate them, no matter what they represent. Yesterday actually happens to have been the 12th anniversary of a car accident I was involved in when I was 17 which resulted in a very traumatic injury to my left hand. My left index finger looks like ET's (a Halloween costume I still fully intend to execute) and I'm still to this day often asked about my "burn" as the skin looks like it was at some point lit on fire.

It used to be a scene I though alot about. Nightmares, anxiety, a deep need to always drive, etc. but as time marches on the scar does fade, both externally and internally. I am so thankful to be able to use my hand almost as if it were normal. To type and tie shoes and run and swim, I am blessed. And it was a wonderful reminder this morning, to hear a celebration of thanks from a person who is still coping with trauma within her own family because of her child's health. How easy it is to be grateful when you are through a hurdle like that, but to share words of celebration while it's still going on is truly inspiring. And one of the greatest motivators I can think of.

Claire

Silence Isn't Golden

Tragedy struck whilst on the treadmill this morning. My ipod quit working - just needs to be charged but still. It just quit, right in the middle of the Flaming Lips favorite 'She Don't Use Jelly.' This was the mental equivalent of hitting the emergency stop button on the treadmill.

And it got me thinking about running in an actual race and not being able to use my ipod. I've really become reliant on that little guy. I NEED that music to push me through. And this of course got me thinking about wants and needs and how different they really are. In actuality I want my ipod when I run, but I don't need it.

It's like a blankey or any other "magical" item you might have had as a kid. You simply can't pass a test without your lucky pen or you couldn't possibly play a soccer game with your your specific hair tie. Well, my little ipod shuffle has become my blankey or binky or whatever that I can't possible run without.

And that's just ridiculous. Passing a test has nothing to do with the pen. And running a race has nothing to do with music. It's all about preparation. And that's why it's intimidating. We want to believe in a magical device or trick that makes things easier in life be it training for a triathlon or preparing for a test or just maintaining our relationships.

My favorite teacher in high school, Dr. Buchanan, gave us all Albert Einstein stickers right before we took our AP European History Exam. And I rubbed that little sticker for luck as if it were a holy relic. In fact, as I write this, I'm looking at that very sticker of Mr. Einstein, as I've saved it all these years. And I always keep it on my computer. For luck.

While I have no intention of giving up my sticker or my ipod for that matter, I do realize I don't need them- I want them. But wants be damned, I just need to prepare! Three miles today in 30 minutes is a good start.

Claire

Attitude.

As the anxiety-ridden, over-reactor that I am, people are always sharing little ditties with me to help calm me down. A fan favorite is: "Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it." With the exception of my friend Sarah, who wrote this down for me in high school on our drill team stationary and I really appreciated it at the time, I've told everyone else who has ever said this to me to go F-off (not too articulate, but highly effective in shutting down and overly-effusive helper).

However. Today, I got a taste of my own grumpy medicine when I went to run. I've been babysitting this week and it's messed with my spin schedule so I've been compensating for that deficit with running. This morning I woke up refreshed after a good nights worth of Lunesta-induced slumber but the second my feet hit the floor: I. was. pissy. I still am. I'm in a bad mood and I know why, but that's for a whole other blog.

The cruel irony is, the anger and frustration I was feeling upon stumbling out of bed only hurt me. Instead of saying, "ok, let's just go work this out on the treadmill," I grudgingly loaded myself up into my car and schlepped into the gym. I had a horrid run. And that's all in my head, because, 1. today is actually 'off' day, 2. I finally hit 3 miles in 30 minutes and 3. I'm not that tired.

But I was beaten. My attitude sucked. I really crawled through today's workout. Focusing on all the negative, and truly feeling frightened of the endeavor I've embarked upon. I hope today will improve. My daily prayer is to be in the now and to focus on the positives- aka, drink my own medicine.

When someone asked me why in the heck I was attempting a triathlon, my immediate and gut reaction was "I needed to kick my own ass." Well. Here's to another kick.

Claire

Just Like a Fish

I have really turned a corner with swimming. I'll be honest, when this process started, I though I'd take to the pool easily- I love the water!

I was wrong. Swim proved to be the most challenging aspect of training from day one. But here at week 7, I'm loving it. I finally got my rhythm down and can actually breathe (big plus). I used to huff and puff after 50 meters but now, 200 is no biggie. I realize that's a drop in the bucket since I have to swim across a river to the tick of 1800 meters, but I feel more confident in reaching the shore now.

It's also very interesting to see what pops to mind while you're swimming. For example, the other day in the pool I started stroking to the tune of "Old McDonald Had a Farm." And at the same time was pondering swim caps in general. My Grandmother always wore one. She said it kept her hair nice (she had her hair set every Monday) and I believed her. But now I think she was just crazy because nothing about a swim cap keeps your hair nice. In fact, if I'd had my hair set, a pool would be the last place I'd venture.

Anyway, these little conversations with myself pull me through to the end of the lane. And hopefully, across a river.

Claire

Thank You, Billy Idol

I just ran for 60 minutes. It was difficult. But, it was alot more fun thanks to my friend Billy Idol.

Ever since Cindy Mancini ruined her mother's fringed suede outfit with a bottle of cheap red wine to the tune of 'Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol has held my heart.

I've gotten into the habit of wrapping up my runs with "Dancing With Myself" and it never fails me. No matter how tired I am, that intro gets me right back into my rhythm. As I stare out the YMCA window, focused on one tree for concentration, I imagine I'm with all my friends, out dancing, and our early 80s favorite comes on. We do the brat pack kick and sing all together. It's cheesy, but that little daydream really pulls you through mile six when you're about to vomit.

Claire

Almost There

A bike is going to be a reality in my life this week! So far, our garage sale has been quite a success and I'm 75% of the way toward my bike! Also, I have truly perfected my haggling skills and am considering a career in consignment management or a stint on "American Pickers."

That said, I'm EXHAUSTED. Planning to rise with the sun in the morrow to get in a quick run but I'm not making any promises. Perhaps I can do laps at the pool party I'm attending tomorrow night- I'm sure that would entertain the guests.

Claire

An Aerobic Day

Today, I worked out on my own. And I mean that very literally in that I was not able to run my 40 minutes today. No, instead, I was laboring at my parent's house, preparing to sell 10 years worth of accumulated stuff at an estate sale at their home this weekend. My mother is THRILLED to have me as her hired hand now that I've been working out. I lifted boxes, set up tables, stacked books, climbed stairs, taped sheets, covered tables and even mentally exhausted myself trying to determine what to ask for my Carebear lunchbox.

Don't misunderstand- I have something to gain as well. Proceeds I make from this sale will go toward my land bike! And, of course, remaining earnings from my stuff will go towards fundraising for Team Gage! Super excited to put years worth of junk towards something so positive. If you're interested in the sale, you can find details on Facebook tomorrow.

And, while I wasn't able to get my 40min run in, I did do a quick trot around my parent's neighborhood after dinner. This was great, because it felt good to run a little, but also a good lesson was learned: don't run after eating El Fenix enchiladas. Muy malo, folks. Muy malo.

Claire

Running (well, spinning) With the Devil.

OK. Tonight, one of Satan's minons led my spin class. The bulk of the work out was "in the saddle" (seated) and at at least a level 7 of resistance. Because some crazy switch has flicked in my head that has taken me to a whole new level of self-competition (or I've actually lost it) I did exactly what the red-headed demon at the front of the class told me to do.

I will say, said demon's playlist ruled. A little Blink 182, Greenday, and Bruce's "Badlands" - which would motivate anyone to trudge forward. Definitely found myself dancing my way up the last few hills.

The devil instructor teaches Tuesday nights and Sunday. I'll be seeing her Sunday. And I may bring my light-up AC/DC devil horns for class. Rock on.

Claire

For the Love of Shoes

It should be noted, that in my closet there are approximately 75 pairs of shoes. These are just the summer ones. 95% are heels. And I love them all. I remember when and where I purchased them. I remember the special occasions I've worn then to and, honestly, I have names for a few. It goes without saying that I love shoes. I've even given up "meals" to make some of them a reality in my life.

So, I cannot tell you the glee I experienced yesterday when I discovered that my new project, aka the triathlon, would entail shoe shopping. I've been in alot of pain the past few days. I hadn't purchased new running shoes yet, but honestly, until last Tuesday, I was doing fine in my five-year-old, red kicks. But no more. The ankles- my GOSH- the ankles have been killing me.

So yeaterday I popped on over to Luke's Locker and had an experience being fitted and buying my first fancy pair of runners that was seriously on par with buying my first pair of Jimmy Choos. It was fabulous.

The nice man working the shoe floor had me walk a little and then trot around- didn't even tell him what my problem was and he could just identify it right off. He immediately said, "oh, I bet your ankles are hurtin" and I obviously was impressed. He then asked how I made the decision on my last pair of shoes, as in, was I fitted. "No," I told him. "I picked them because they were red. And they looked vintage." Silence from the nice salesman.

We tried on several pairs and I learned about pronation (which I over-do apparently) and talked about ankle support. The ultimate result is a pair of cloud-weight Asaics that made this morning's 40 minute trot on the treadmill truly blissful. Best part: they're pink. I am in love! And my ankles are so happy!

Please visit my official Team In Training Page to learn about this amazing cause. Even though I'm in love with my shoes, this isn't about them. I"m training for all those friends and family members we all have who have been affected by Leukemia and Lymphoma and our team specifically is racing for a special little boy, Gage. Click here to hear about Team in Training and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

The Honeymoon is Over

Every relationship has a honeymoon phase. And it's a delightful phase. Everything is blissful and exciting and all that goodness. And then, the honeymoon ends, and you are resentful, and tired and generally irritated. And in this case, have incredibly sore ankles.

Yes, my honeymoon phase with the exercise has ended. And that's totally fine because now I'm really settling into the reality of the experience and getting in the trenches for real. And I have to say, it's hitting me hard. I am in dire need of new running shoes (which will be taken care of today). My ankles were hurting so badly last week I was CRAWLING around my apartment. My energy sucked, so I started to eat more heartily, so now I just feel fat and sore. I am sincerely hoping that is temporary.

Thankfully, I had a very good spin class today and it was nice to be back after the long weekend off. And I'm anxious to get back to the pool as I haven't been in the water (for a workout) in over a week.

I've been told, that typically, the best stuff comes after the honeymoon. The hard work pays off and you're left with a great outcome. I've never really made it that far but I have no plans to breakup with my training. However, therapy might be in order.

Claire

Catch-Up

Well, let's see. It's Tuesday, and I haven't blogged since Friday. Whoops. A quick recap of the week/end:

Friday: Ran 3 miles in 35 minutes. Only stopped once!
Saturday: First group swim at Greenhill School- at 6:30am. Went really well- improved enurance and enjoyed learning some drills.
Sunday: Rest
Monday: Ran in the morning- shaved 15 seconds off my mile, and ran for 20 minutes straight! Whoo hoo! The run was make-up for missing Sunday's workout and that may have been a poor choice on my part. While yesterday's run went really well, I had to swim last night and it did NOT go well.

Last night's swim was my first official "bad" workout. I felt like I had the lung capacity of an 80-year-old smoker. I took in alot of water and sputtered down the lane just like I imagine the poor fish in the Gulf are these days. I'm so thankful for the supportive coaches and mentors of TNT - they really helped me stay calm and focused even though I was about to have a breakdown in the pool.

I'm not sure why I got so upset. I mean, it's not like I wasn't able to complete the laps or drills. I just needed to rest a little more than some other teammates. And that's the issue- I was playing my favorite game of "let's compare" and that's never, ever a winner for self-esteem.

Last summer, a friend gave me a great tip for those times when you're really feeling down on yourself- whenever you say something negative to yourself you must counter it with two positives. This is what I thought last night in the pool:

Negative: I look like a contestant on "the biggest loser."
Positive: No, I really don't.
Positive: I am a good gardener.

Yes. Those were my two positives. But they got me to the end of lane.

Claire

Peddling Uphill

Wrapping up week three of training and feeling relatively confident. I'm seeing changes in my endurance and physique (which is a nice added bonus) but I'm still very nervous about the entire process. I have yet to find a bike, and that's starting to really stress me out. And after last night's cycling 101, I'm honestly terrified of the biking aspect.

It's been along time since the word "torque" came up in conversation. The last time that happened, I was a junior in high school and totally digging pulley problems in my physics class. I actually really loved physics (my teacher had an STP poster- which was actually for Stone Temple Pilots but dork that I am, always assumed it was for Standard Temperature and Pressure- unbeknownst to me, Mr. Aames was a alternative geek). ANYWAY. Torque hasn't been something I've though of in awhile.

Nor was the Krebs Cycle something that came to mind, but after our little tutorial last night, I am aware that 1. torque, or force, is something I'll be thinking about a great deal going forward, 2. unless I peddle at 90RPMs I'm gonna get crampy (thank you lactic acid/Krebs) and 3. I have no idea how to operate a bike that doesn't have streamers coming out its handle bars.

It's alot to sort through. And on top of that, you know, I'm trying to figure out the rest of my life. I'd forgotten how rough unemployment can be. While I dig the time at home and the chance to workout whenever I want, it's getting a little claustrophobic in here. I find myself being desperate to make plans way in the future to secure some semblance of normalcy. I just watched 'Marley & Me' and can't quite calm down. Running to CVS for paper towels has been the highlight of the day and by the time the mailman shows up, I might just invite him in for a coke.

It's difficult to be excited about your off day on the workout schedule and Friday in general when everyday is like an off day. I know this will pass. And our big swim clinic tomorrow morning will assuredly kick my behind into gear and make me feel like I accomplished something, but today... today is a real butt-kick of a different kind.

Claire

I Could Not Think of a Clever Title Today

Another successful spin today! On Tuesday, I accidentally left the little seat cover I'm borrowing on my stationary bike and was very happy to find it in the same place this morning. I seriously don't think I could face class without that extra padding. I absolutely have a new found respect for bikers of all ilks. I also love an accessory.

And this has me very excited for our TNT meeting tonight at a bike shop in Richardson. I haven't found a bike yet so this should be really helpful to find out exactly what I need and get some tips on finding one economically. Also, I want to start thinking about all the fun things I could potentially decorate my bike with that will not hinder my progress through the race. I'm thinking streamers in my spokes. Perhaps some stickers? I'd dig a basket but I doubt that is legal. I realize this makes me sound like a second grader, but what can I say? I'm colorful. I don't do anything without an accessory.

I really don't want to attract attention or anything... that's never why I wear things with pom-poms and celluloid fruit. Honestly. I just feel more like my self with things dangling and sparkling. And that's important, especially in this endeavor. To feel relaxed in my own skin- and in this case, a skin-tight bodysuit thing. I feel like any accent I add to my little tri-outfit or my bike will be the athletic equivalent of pearls. And pearls give you power. Stay tuned for pictures.

Claire

Rockin' the Run

I ran one mile without stopping today. I haven't done that since my final Presidential Fitness Test in 8th grade. I'm so PROUD! I actually ran a total of 2.75 miles and only took two breaks- the first rest being after the first full mile. Such an ego boost for me and totally unexpected- I had a rough night's sleep last night. My whole REM cycle was filled with nightmares and I was having temperature issues- so hot in my apartment!

Given my princess-and-the-pea kind of night, I attribute my success today to my new playlist I created earlier this morning. It really is so much easier to chug along to AC/DC than Wolf Blitzer. I find CNN is totally fine for days I do the gazelle or even a bike, but if I'm on the treadmill, I need to rock.

For fun, here's what I listened today as I upped my endurance to under a 12 minute mile:
1. Thunderstruck (AC/DC)
2. All My Life (Foo Fighters)
3. Annie Waits (Ben Fold's Five)
4. Immigrant Song (Led Zeppelin)
5. What'd I say (Ray Charles)
6. Only (Nine Inch Nails)
7. Cherub Rock (Smashing Pumpkins)
8. She Don't Use Jelly (The Flaming Lips)

I would recommend this list to all beginners like myself ... they're intense songs, and all approximately 4 minutes each, so if you want to run in intervals, they're ideal! Rock on, dear reader.

Claire

Surprised by Spinning

I have to say, I'm truly shocked at how much I enjoy spin class. The reasons I am so shocked are as follows:

1. elderly classmates out-spin me
2. I require assistance from the instructor to get my little stationary bike ready to receive me
3. I sweat like a sumo wrestler in a sauna
4. I'm a loud breather

I mean, really, the list could go on and on. But despite these attention-grabbing features of spinning, I happen to LOVE it. I can't believe I have such a sense of accomplishment from, literally, going nowhere. But there's something about that little stationary bike that makes me feel like a rock star, even though I don't look like one.

It's interesting the things that go through your mind while you're sweating out every ounce of water from your body. Today, I remembered biking up the steep hills in the neighborhood where I grew up and all my skinny-minny playmates zooming past me. All the while, my 9-year-old little body was not having it (truthfully, I was alot like a neurotic New Yorker, even back then. Think Woody Allen meets hair bows- all under 5 feet- yes, there were glasses involved).

Point being, that hill was always a real beat-down. It intimidated me (and was the scene of an unfortunate rollerskating/stop sign incident) and it made me feel like I couldn't keep up. But in a room where you're not moving, there's no pressure to keep up. Only to do your best.

Claire

Patience, Grasshopper

Yes, I had another blogging hiatus- nothing as traumatizing as the last break. I was simply out of town. Had a great run on Saturday on the treadmill AND outdoors! I definitely need to be hitting the pavement more frequently, but all and all, I was please with how I did. My running coach for the day really pushed me to go much further than I would have on my own, and while I'm still sore, I feel so much more confident!

But, today it was back to the water. I've said it before: the pool scares the bejezus out of me. But I think I've identified the problem. And that would be patience, or my lack of it. A good friend came to swim this morning and in addition to just being a great person to be around, said friend is also a seasoned tri-athlete and gave some amazing tips on improving my pool time. It's all about slowing down, taking the time to really reach through your stroke and BREATHING.

Wow. Hello life lesson for the day. Truly, tips that are applicable to everything, everything, everything I do. I spend so much time projecting and worrying about the future. Will I find a job? Where will I be in a year? What AM I DOING HERE? And of course, I don't have the answers to any of those questions. It's a forest through the trees situation folks. But, if I could just work on slowing down, reaching gradually through the choppy waters of my life and breathing, always breathing, I will ultimately reach a happy place -- an evolved place if you will. I also just might reach a very real finish line come September. Thanks, Coach A- you really helped today.

Claire

Training with the Cowboys

I am very proud to announce that I could spot former Cowboy's coach Barry Switzer at the Park Cities Y. The other day when I was battling against the stick-figure runner, I thought I spotted Coach S but to be honest, I'm not the greatest sports aficionado. After seeing him again this morning, I came home, googled and voila!- I am a good Dallasite!

Additionally, I was on the treadmill as long as he was. Now, I realize, he's you know, older. But still. That's impressive to me. Of course, I garnered some irritated glances when my foot slipped out of the gazelle pedal this morning, causing my keys to fall off the cup holder and me to flail about much like an untrained circus performer being shot out of a cannon. But hey. What are you gonna do.

Feeling primed for a great Friday, folks.

Claire

Just LIke the Movies

So I had a Bridget Jones moment this morning. (one involving exercise, not vodka and cigarettes). We all remember Ms. Jones picking herself off her arse and starting to exercise, finding a new job and consequently, wooing Colin Firth (I'm not holding out for the third in that trio).

You might also remember in the film, the motivational, movie-montage moment set to "I'm Every Woman" where BJ falls off her spin bike. DON'T WORRY: I did not fall off my bike. I just related.

Yesterday was a bleh day. One where I felt totally exhausted, stressed, fearful and generally scrooge-like. But after a very, very delightful meeting with my Team in Training group and a great night sleep, I'm feeling like myself today. And like Bridget, I know this is all about kicking my own butt. I loved that movie so much because she wasn't rescued- she saved herself. And I intend to save myself from another scrooge day.

**Also, felt a slight tinge of "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" going on in class this morning. My favorite new work out pal is an old high school friend. We may have already had the 10 year, but it just reminded me of R & M's attempts to buff up in a short amount of time. I'm going to nominate crazy, early 90s work-out attire for our next spin.

Claire

Who put the 'rant' in Grant? ME!

I'll be honest: today has sucked. Now, my workout went well this morning but I ran on a treadmill next to a very annoying, stick-figure of a runner. And I swear she was competing with me... I'd up the speed of my treadmill and she'd adjust hers. I'd walk and she'd run harder, very smugly. Whatever. Good for you that you have the metabolism of a hummingbird and are married to a plastic surgeon. You go right ahead and outrun me.

Then I came home and the ants which I thought I'd eradicated had returned. In full force. You leave one crumb on your counter and it's like the casting call for "A Bug's Life" in your kitchen. And my cats will not leave me alone. They are so thrilled I'm home all the time they're jumping all over me and consequently shedding in my coffee cup. Which is gross.

Around noon I had the joy of taking some clerical tests a temp agency. In case you were wondering, I'm a crackerjack typer- 81 words a minute. Really putting that education to good use.

And, I've missed open swim for the afternoon so I'll probably drown come September.

Obviously, I'm losing sight of all of this today. And by all of this, I mean the reason I'm training. I'm training for people who have it so much worse than I do. I'm training for people who are sick with Lymphoma and Leukemia and who can't, right at this moment, be outrun by some twit at the Y. And I'm grateful I am doing it. I just wish SOMETHING would go right today.

Claire

I've Got Two Tickets to the Gun Show

So, my arms look amazing. I really don't know what to tell you. It's like God's giving me a consolation prize for losing my job because no joke, I've got some biceps that just won't quit. Which is a brand new experience for me and a great motivator to press forward with training.

I swam this morning and while I'm still grossly out of shape, it was a more successful dip this time out. Consequently, I've deiced I need to hit the pool daily for a while in order to really build up my endurance. A very nice woman who is also doing the Nation's Tri was there to give some tips (p.s., she's also apparently done some Iron Mans). She said my form was fine - big relief- I just need to have some endurance- or at least that's what I could hear over my panting.

I was naively most intimidated by the run aspect of this endeavor, and don't misunderstand, it still scares the bejezus out of me, but swimming is shaping up to be the biggest hurdle in my mind. And it's made me think about sports metaphors.

I have a bunch of friends who are avid runners and they always say "oh running, it's free therapy." Or "running is a metaphor for life." And I think that's great. But I don't get it. Sure, if you're a calm and consistent person who trots along through life meeting benchmark goals in a normal fashion and time frame, but occasionally get down in the dumps and stumble and then get back up, ya, I see the running metaphor.

I just don't relate. I think swimming is my metaphor. I go thorough life splashing and sputtering and belly flopping and diving headfirst and doggy-paddling to shore and then carelessly jumping back in. I'm like a very, very slow fish with asthma who likes to make a scene. And that is something I should probably work on. But until I turn into a smooth sailer, at least my arms look hot.

Claire

Re-do

I took a brief hiatus from blogging this weekend, but not because I didn't work out. I had the pleasure of attending a fabulous wedding in Houston (where I thoroughly enjoyed the gym at the St. Regis and a delightful fruit plate after my workout). But I also lost my job on Friday.

When the opportunity to sign up for this triathalon presented itself just 3 weeks ago, I felt called to sign up because I was looking to really make some changes in my life. And I certainly have. My life looks nothing like it did exactly a year ago. Everything has been stripped down to the studs. And I welcome it.

I got up this morning, jumped on the treadmill and honestly, had a very successful run. It felt great. I am so excited to have this training to look forward to every day. In fact, I'm hitting up the Y later to get in a swim since I missed yesterday's workout.

When you lose a job, people always start talking truisms- doors closing, windows opening, you know the schtick. I think the obvious assumption is that a new job would be my new window. But I have to wonder if this goal, this training, isn't my window. Not to sound cheesy, but it's the most intimidating thing I've attempted, maybe ever. The process is completely uncharted territory and I think that's where we really have the chance to evolve.

This whole year has been unchartered territory in many ways. There have been lots of tears, and stress and frustration. But here, with one more challenge to add to my list, I say bring it. I'm tired of crying and I'm ready to get moving.

Claire

Run!

Yes, I ran. Well, at least, on a gazelle-like apparatus- but still. I chugged along to the tune of 2.5 miles in 30 minutes. Given my over-all exercise malaise for the past decade you would probably assume that distance was the highlight of my gym visit today. But that is because you weren't there.

If you had been there, you would have known and agreed that the highlight of today's journey to the YMCA was the chance to watch (briefly) a senior citizens' step aerobics class. I have to tell you, the sight of a woman pushing 80, hopping up an down with little-to-no-effort on a step to the tune of "Don'cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" may have been the best (albeit somewhat disturbing) thing I've seen in I don't know how long. Granny's still got it. And I'm on my way.

Tomorrow I will tackle my, at times, paralyzing gym anxiety and approach the treadmill for an actual attempt to bust into stride. The gym honestly terrifies me. It's like walking into the junior high cafeteria- and I just pray that I don't get stuck at the reject table... aka, the infirmary.

Claire

The Morning After

I swam last night. I swam for the first time in approximately 10 years. To be clear, I've been in a pool. I've been in many bodies of water in fact, but to actually, aggressively swim with some inkling of "technique," we're talking YEARS.

What did I learn during my hour in the pool? Several things.

1. I am, in fact, out of shape.

2. If I were to be chased by a shark and my life depended on out-swimming the beast, I would die.

3. The supportive presence of a friend is one of the strongest and most helpful forces in the world (thanks to my would-be swim coach for the day, Tori).

4. The greatest sleep aid is exercise.

5. I can and will improve.

If you know me, you're asking yourself, "why in the heck is Claire talking about exercise?" and if you don't know me, you're thinking "why in the world should I care?" Both are very legitimate questions. Here's the deal: I have recently decided and began the process of training for a triathalon this September to be held in Washington DC.

Here are the details from my official fundraising page which you can visit here: "As some of you may already know, I'm training to participate in the Nation's Triathalon this September 12, in Washington D.C. as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team In Training. I'm very excited to support a foundation I believe in and that does amazing work at impacting the lives of thousands of cancer patients.

All of us on Team In Training are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives. I am completing this event in honor of all individuals who are battling blood cancers. These people are the real heroes on our team, and we need your support to cross the ultimate finish line - a cure!"

You should also know, I've never done anything like this in my life. So why now? Firstly, I believe in the incredible work of the LLS- blood cancers are something we've all been touched by and I am proud to support research for a cure. But secondly, and more selfishly, I'm doing this for me. I want to cross a finish line (it's more complicated than that, but I'll spare you the emotional explanation- for now). I hope you'll check in and see my progress. I'm looking forward to this very bumpy ride.

Claire

***Please visit my official Team in Training LLS page here!***